Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness; let him rebuke me—that is oil on my head.  My head will not refuse it, for my prayer will still be against the deeds of evildoers. (Psalm 141:5)

Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. (Proverbs 15:31)

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. (Proverbs 19:10)

In general, seeking counsel is difficult for most people.  When that counsel includes rebuke or discipline, accepting it can be extremely difficult.  The way David welcomes rebuke in Psalm 141:5 is not typical.  Most of us will admit that as we grow older we develop an increasing aversion to accepting correction.

Please prayerfully reflect on the Bible passages above.

Something to think about:

Do you have people in your life that you are prepared to accept correction and discipline from?

The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)

Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.^. (Proverbs 13:10)

We have entered the last week before Passion Week and we have three more Disciplines to cover: Counsel, Creation and Sabbath.  We will cover these three Disciplines this week, and continue to reflect on our theme for this year, Our Identity.  We will start with Counsel.

God clearly puts people in our lives to advise us, and discussions with other believers can certainly help with questions related to our identity.  This is certainly one of the major benefits of fellowship.  For many of us though, seeking counsel is a sign of weakness.

Please prayerfully reflect on the Bible passages above.

Something to think about:

Why should seeking counsel be an essential component of seeking a Christ-centered identity?

²⁰Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.  ²¹Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:20-21)

If you missed the comments on Creation yesterday, you missed something special.  The good thing is the comments are still there for your review. Today we consider another not-so-popular Discipline – the Spiritual Discipline of seeking counsel from others.  Alicia has a question for Libby on the subject.

As a reminder, you will play the part of Libby and share your thoughts on the challenges people are facing.  Libby is not expected to be an expert.  Rather, Libby simply shares from personal and practical experiences.   So, please feel free to chime in even if you have questions yourself.  Also, even if you don’t have the time to share, think about how you have addressed the challenge in your life or how you would address it in the life of a loved one.

Please review the Bible passage above and Alicia’s challenge below.

Dear Libby,

Writing to you for advice today is very awkward because my challenge is that I avoid seeking counsel. I don’t mind seeking advice on minor things like getting directions, or on major things like medical advice from a doctor.  However, when I am faced with some major life challenges, I tend to go it alone even when the answer is not at all clear.  I have given some thought to why I act so independently, and I think the fundamental issues are trust and control.  One I find it hard to give (trust), and the other I find it hard to give up (control).

Lately I have been feeling like I am robbing myself of a key part of my Christian experience by not seeking counsel from wise people around me more often.  What are your views Libby?   

Seeking counsel (and it feels weird),

Alicia

Today’s Question:

What thoughts would you like to share with Alicia?

Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance (Proverbs 1:5)

For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers. (Proverbs 11:14)

The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22)

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. (Proverbs 19:20)

Our Feature Friday Discipline is the Discipline of Counsel.  In today’s society, the person who dispenses counsel is often considered wise.  The Bible offers another perspective though, by linking listening and seeking counsel with wisdom.   The Holy Spirit can directly provide us with all the counsel we need but He elects to sometimes provide this counsel through others.   Of course, not all counsel provided is wise, even in the church.   For some, the fact that this is a “risky” Discipline is ample reason not to pursue it.   However, viewed through the lens of love that is not a recommended path.

Please prayerfully read the passages above and answer today’s questions.

Today’s Questions for comments:

• Do you have a network of believers who can provide you with godly advice on a variety of matters?
• How do you guard against using bad counsel?

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)

As we end the week of focus on the discipline of counsel, I have a confession to make. As I have studied the Disciplines, the discipline of counsel is one that I have struggled with in application. At the root cause of this struggle is pride. For many years I know I operated under the premise that asking for advice is a sign of weakness. Interestingly, as my leadership roles and responsibilities grew in the workplace I quickly changed this view and became a firm believer in the notion that asking for advice can be a sign of strength. So, on the job I practice this discipline extensively. Unfortunately, this change in attitude has not fully transferred into practice in my “non-work” life. Outside work, I find it a lot easier to ask for prayer than to ask for advice. From my work experience, I know that this Discipline can have a materially positive impact but I need to apply it more in all areas of my life.

Just in case you are wondering whether you can rely on anything I have written earlier this week in light of my struggle, don’t worry:

1. The material is in alignment with the Bible and ultimately, the counsel we are after must be from God (His wisdom is above all others)
2. The concepts come from people who do a lot better at this than me :-).

So, as I close out this week, I ask not only for your prayers but also your advice.

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (Proverbs 27:6)
The plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful. (Proverbs 12:5)

Earlier in the week I promised to come back to the important topic of discernment (the ability to judge well). While we have clearly seen that God encourages us to seek counsel from others, we also must realize the only perfect counselor is God. So, if we are not careful we could follow the advice of those who don’t seek our interests or are well intentioned but provide the wrong advice. So, how do we deal with this potential dilemma? Ultimately, we need to always remember that if the advice doesn’t conform with God’s directions it is not good advice. However, sometimes determining if the advice we are receiving lines up with God’s direction requires discernment. Below are some practical considerations to help us exercise spiritual discernment. Some of these are taken from the one-page document on Counsel on the 40 Days of Discipline website:

• Prayer is always appropriate.
• Always test advice against Biblical principles. For example, does the advice align with the character and nature of God? It can’t be good advice if it goes against God’s word.
• Assess the motives and agendas of the person(s) providing advice. Do they genuinely care about you, and are they seeking your best interest (or possibly reacting to their own fears or insecurities)?
• If you need advice on a moral issue consider the character and values of the person you are seeking advice from. For example, does the person know the scriptures?
• For major decisions and challenges, instead of relying on the advice of one person, it is at times best to hear from several godly people.
• Be wary of counsellors who are quick with answers.

God has a way of providing peace and comfort when the advice is “right”, so rely on the Holy Spirit.

I am sure my list of considerations above is not exhaustive. What do you think? Share some thoughts using the comments feature on the blog site.

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but test the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. (1 John 4:1)

In considering the Discipline of Counsel we not only have to consider godly counsel we also have to consider ungodly counsel. Psalm 1:1 tells us “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked”.

We are often being “counseled” more than we might be willing to admit. In the “old” days when parents said, “Be careful of the company you keep” they meant the friends and associates that were physically in the same vicinity we were in. Now “walking in the counsel of the wicked” is a lot more complicated. We can walk with ungodly counsel on the internet, on TV, in books, as well as with physical associates. To make matters worse, an enormous sum of money is being spent by marketers of all types to provide you with counsel, whether you are seeking it or not. The consequences of listening to the right counsel can be very significant. Recall the story of Joshua and Caleb as told in Numbers 13 and 14. Moses sent twelve men out to scout the land of Canaan. Except for Joshua and Caleb, the counsel of the scouts was that the inhabitants of the land were too powerful for the children of Israel. Fortunately, Moses listened to the counsel of Joshua and Caleb.

Today let’s recognize that we are being influenced in many ways. Renewing our mind through the Word serves as a primary strategy, but the Holy Spirit also provides for us the Discipline of seeking wise counsel. To get wise counsel, watch the company you keep. Having a group of brothers and sisters in Christ that you can really trust is a great place to start.

What do you think? Share some thoughts with a comment on the blog site.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

Yesterday we discussed the relationship between humility and Godly counsel. Today, we will look at the relationship between fellowship and Godly counsel. Fortunately, the basic Discipline we are considering this week is Fellowship so we are already learning a lot about the topic. All I want to do here is to explicitly make the link between the Disciplines and leave you with some questions to answer.

Since God clearly has all the answers to all our questions, why doesn’t he just give us all the answers directly? Obviously He can and sometimes He does, but in His wisdom he admonishes us to seek counsel from others. Please read the following passage from Hebrews 10:23 – 25 and look for the link between fellowship and the Discipline of counsel: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” The idea of spurring one another on brings “counsel” to mind and not giving up on meeting together brings “fellowship” to mind. The two concepts naturally fit together and I believe where there is great fellowship the foundation for Godly counsel exists.

Here are some questions related to fellowship to consider as you seek to practice the Discipline of Counsel:

• Does your brand of fellowship promote the type of atmosphere where you would feel comfortable seeking and providing counsel?
• Do you meet with believers outside of a church service? Or, when you attend church and the church service is over, do you ever stick around to spend time with others?
• Do you make an effort to really get to know other believers by going beyond surface conversations?
• Would people know that you love brothers and sisters in the Faith based on the amount of time you are prepared to spend with them?

What do you think? Share your thoughts with a comment on the blog site.